I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
