she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have aggressive nipples.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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