im six kinds of drunk right now
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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