I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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