In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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