id be glad to
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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