Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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