we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
