so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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