Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
