dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
