I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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