dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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