ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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