hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
