so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
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is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
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