It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
