I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
