We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
