my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
