Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
