maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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