You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
