Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
