I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
