question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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