he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
