at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
