i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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