I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just cropdusted the office
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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