you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
