I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dick very happy bro
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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