Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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