i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
