This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
