Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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