I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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