trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
