I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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