Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
