Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
