well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
