I think my fart just growled at me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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