Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize