sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
