I'm drive I can fine osifer
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
