Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
