I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
