dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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