so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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