Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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