..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
