the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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