we're blogging at a bar
Whod you bang
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
