she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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