She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
