omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
