Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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