They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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