You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
