I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
