Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize