Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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